More jobs to pick up

Out of the blue moon, the guy scheduled the 1:1 with me and I know this is definitely not a good news to me, more jobs to pick up and more things to do, at the same time, pay will remain the same for a long while. Dealing with a girl that like to complain is a pain, she keep complaining that she is overloaded, the fact is everyone overload, so what you like to complain about?

Change a thought that we should be blessed for having jobs and steady income every months, it may be insufficient due to lifestyle. People with more income tend to admire luxury lifestyles, unless you are really strong with passive income, or working for money cant really get you into next level. The more income you make, the poorer you are…cause you spend more and impulsively.

Years ago, when my salary less than 2k, I still could afford a car because the car was my focus, and my all income almost 40% dump into car expenses – petrol, maintenances, insurance, tyres, loan installment and etc. 

Now, even the salary is higher than before, I need to think twice to change a new car, because the car is no longer my focus, I need to concentrate to a larger commitment in life – marriage. The loan installment and maintenance has no end dates, as long as the contract is on, you will need to pay it forever, until the day you wanted to breach the contract that is costly as the compensation is huge.

I get more jobs just because I am more familiar with products than others, I used to take care some of the products supply and demand because I am on site, now they make it my responsibility for all. I do not know whether I can handle it well, but I have told them that I am handling 3 product lines now, so you cant expected my service level as good as before because I cant now simply concentrate on 1 issue at a time. If I screw up, then you have to excuse me. I wear underwear inside the pant but not outside, if the company is looking for a super employee, I would say I am not the one, get more headcounts or get somebody else.

Sick for 5 days…fever family reunion…

All the siblings came together to visit me, but I never feel touch and never welcome them again for 2nd visit, I have not on MC for long while and I got 3 days MC in the past 2 weeks that broken my personal record. I am still ill and feel a bit reluctant to work further here, at this hour, the best thing is to go home and sleep...I miss my bed.


After a year of last business travel, now comes again… initially I thought there will be no more, but thanks to the CM proposal to has the business review meeting at corporate office, so now we have another chances to fly again, and the next trip will never in hope again.

Maybe I am a bit sensitive or maybe this is the truth, I do not know and I hope someone tell me the truth. I am a super minority now, ladies in the office sometimes refused to join me for lunch, so con-incident that they have plan when I asked them, or they wanted to have secret talk, that’s why a guy is not welcomed? I am not a loud speaker, but willing to share, as we working together, sometimes sharing is necessary, but now they just make me quiet than before which I am not that type of people.

Until now I still not understand that why my friend wanted the job with manager title, she claimed it is easier for career advancement, while I think the manager title is actually a burden to me, until now, even I wanted to go further from where I am now, I also feel quite hard to get a better offer. Maybe I will feel different next year when I start to busy with my marriage. Busier to handle more thing and less time to think negatively and the time will move faster.

I think is time to move on with current situation, reluctant to move on is a dangerous sign, while everyone is making good progress, you still stand at current place, make yourself the lowest performer in the department; the next wave of work force management, I will have strong chance to get the big envelope which ask you to leave.

I am focus on the teaching now, and will start to teach by next year…even I do not know what to do now, but I hope that once I start that career, it will make my life a huge different. I felt myself being trapped in the unknown future and I really hope to escape from here, give me a clear direction!! I am still a bit blurring in the case, sick for 5 days… I just want to continue sleep for a while, anti social for a while…

changes

Recently I have encountered many changes, personally, professionally or even family…

We heard a lot that…changes are good…when only thing stuck. If for thing that is going well, changes may not be good. The top management keep emphasize that the major reorg affected everyone and hardly there is no one maintain as it is, but I spent 7 years to meet with a best boss so far, working with him for only a year..Then he was transferred to other department and I was transferred to other reporting manager, how is new boss working style… I have no ideas. So, I feel uncertain about the future, moving blindly.

If I am with the old boss now, I will ask for more workloads, I am too effective or I am under load? most of the managers would think we are under load rather than effective. Last few days, I had strong impulsive to look for new jobs, but at current job market, it is hard to find an good offer, so, better wait till next year, then start to plan for next move. s

Stay for better career opportunity or better times slot to do part time, we may not know. So, changes in life are necessary, it’s just a matter of how long we need to adapt to the changes. I may need longer times to changes because I am changing from best to unknown…

After years of having housemaid and she is going back at last, stay with us for 6 years like a family member. Good to have someone to do the entire home works for us – cleaning and washing, cooking is never a piece of her expertise. Cook for herself is her matter, cook for the family, she lacks of that capability. My mum is still the best cook and no one can compare with her…at least in my family. So, from now on, I need to handle the washing and cleaning on my own and I should make my girlfriend do the same. For last 2 years, she visited my house and stay like a guest, now should make her like family member, start to clean and wash.

At last, after years of picky and choosy, I have decided she is the one I will settle down with, she may not be the best…not highly educated, not making good income, quite hot tempers ( I am even hotter) and not the prettiest…but I still pick her. People ask me why not keep looking again, I just rejected because one’s desires are hard to satisfy, and we always want the richest and prettiest, even jealous and envy when we see someone can get a pretty girlfriend, but how much effort he need to put in to woo the girl or how much investment need to throw in to maintain the relationship? We will not know. For the effort and investment we willing to put in, we should be happy with the returns. So, no need to reconsider…as long as there is no major fault to cause the relationship failure, why have to find a new one? To restart the searching process, take much more effort than maintain the current one, which you are enjoying the fruits harvested after putting efforts to plant the tree… we are focusing on a tree instead of forest, unless the tree is unfruitful, then you have valid reasons to look for other trees.

Mankind used to live with migrating and hunting, after years of evolution, they settled down at somewhere and start to grow prospers with planting and feeding to ensure the continuous supply of necessity. Same theory applied to the relationship, man or woman looking around and hunt…after sometimes, they settled down…he or she needs to do something to maintain the relationship to ensure the relationship is in good sharp.

fathers' day

i didn't celebrate father day for years...
he passed away since 2007,
diagnosed with cancer..

at age of 63,
We believe he could still live longer..
unfortunately, he left us earlier than expected.

He never express his love openly,
but he put in action,
He never shown concern,
until we got sicks...
This was Chinese man style,
never been taught to express love verbally,
as he never heard from his parents.

He left with regret,
regret that he never has chance to witness,
witness his beloved youngest son to marry.

Marry means march into another chapter of life,
beginning of new chapter as grown adult,
also end of responsibilities from parents,
Yet to marry,
I am still the child in his eyes,
still an unfinished business for him...

Until now, I am still the child..
hopefully next year father day,
his regret will end.

silly questions

June is a special occasion whereby I have 2 ex-girlfriends married within this month. One married to a Romanian whom she met in UK and another one married to a Malaysian Chinese.

My friends kept asking me the silly questions, " your ex married at last, how do you feel?"; " did you get invitation from them?" The commitment that I could not give but they got it from a better guy at last, I have no right to voice anything.

In fact, after broke up, I always hope that they could get someone better, if were to answer how do I feel? My answer is I am happy for them as they found the true love at last. If they were invite me to the ceremony, surely I will attend. I got invitation from 1 of them, unfortunately i cant attend as my grandpa passed away last month and I need to skip the invitation.

When a relationship went wrong, the couples took the mutual agreement to end the relationship, no matter it is a peace or hardcore broke up. The impact may take times to heal, but times is always the best medicine.

I told my friend whom thrown me the silly Q " I am not sure if she (my-ex) should thanks me or hate me? cause i left her as she could not let go the ex whom was making her the 3rd party in the abnormal relationship, not sure if the lesson make her stronger to let go the ex and finally found the true love; if make her stronger, then I am the noble guy that lead her to true love, if to hurt her much more, then it was never my intention."

over estimated

Guys are usually selfish? or should i say people in love are selfish?

when in love with someone, the couple have influence over each other, depend how much they are in love. Usually, the one falling in love deeper has lesser bargaining power, reason being he/she afraid to lose another half; from times to times, they have to give up or give in many things to compromise. Theoretically, girls are easier to fall in love deeply than guys, so the tendency of compromising is higher than guys. Undeniable that there are guys falling in loving deeper than girl.

So, even when the couple broke up after sometimes, girls are usually hurt more serious than the guy, and the influence to the girls are still strong when the relationship turned sour.

However, there are guys used to over estimate themselves that they can still influence or they still have place in their ex-lovers heart, so if they were to show mercy by giving the opportunity to the ex-lovers to come back to them, the ex should be glad and highly appreciated the chances given. ( mostly in dream only)

Dont forget times is moving fast...she could have met someone much better..so, never over estimate yourself after broke up...never think off she could not find someone else other than you. keep your mercy to yourself, cause you need it more than anyone if you have such a thought...poor you.

the moment of

sometimes..in someplace..someone surely has the moment of disappointed and then become speechless.

EQ is highly needed in this case, sometimes we have no idea disappointment we experienced in that moment turned to negative energy hurting the surrounding people, especially those whom concern and care of us.

pressure in working environment is very common, even housewife also having pressure and how could us always pray and hope for a job which high pay, low workload and less pressure? If someone strike lottery become millionaire overnight, that someone is also having pressure to keep this secret by themselves.

disappointed with something we expect and hope, but didn't get at last; speechless because of feeling down, awful, uncomfortable...cause by disappointment. This is the cycle..cause and effect, doing the right cause and the effect is right as what you wish. Like what a friend told me, she is practising the "The Secret", think positive to attract good energy, even it may take years to realise the goal, but at least it works. I congratulated her for the first good move, hope that she really get what she wanted for.

Being positive doesn't mean you disallow to be disappointed, but it will shorten the cycle you surrounded by that negative energy field. I am a positive thinker and i always believe good thing will happen to allow me to help more people, this is not the main cause for personal agenda, but to the community.

24 hours notice

Loyalty used to be a good description to an employee whom work in a company for long times. Sadly, loyalty is not a good value in the eyes of employers, no matter how much you have contributed, sacrified for the company, when the day has come when your contribution is no longer needed, they will ask you to leave the company either in the nicer way or just throw you out. nicer way as they compensated according to the years of service in the company; thrown you out is just as simple as a call/email to notify you need not worry anymore for matters in the company, then shut you down to all the access to the company and ask you to leave immediately escorting by a few person - security, HR. So, do what the company paid you for; more workloads, more contribution or even dying for the company benefits do not necessarily make your position more solid than anyone. As long as management think that your service is no longer needed, then you are gone instantly. Whenever there are good opportunity, always give those chances a thorough consideration, even under a good boss now may not secure you when his/her boss wanna fire you, the boss need to secure themselves as well, they will not sacrify themselves for you cause they have families to feed too. Loyalty, think it only when you are tired to hop from one to another.

paper shredder

constantly, i received various letters from various parties - insurance company, bankers and other organisations. i used to just teared the paper and thrown in dust bin for unwanted papers, but in last 2 years, i started to collect the papers in a box and dispose it once in a while; still teared off those paper with confidential statement, this is not the best way to dispose the papers which unintentionally disclose your personal detail, at least i feel uncomfortable.

things get better when i got a paper shredder as gift from my gf, it has been long while i wish to have shredder to shed those papers, can recycle the papers and at the same time to have information undisclosed, what a perfect way!!

i fall in love with my shredder when i got it..it save me a lot of problems and i have cleared a lot unwanted papers from my room.

important fact that twist your mind

i guess every driver has the same experience like me, when wanna change the new tires, the mechanic will advise to place the new tires at the front, reasons given were engines is in front, so new tires will enable better control when driving. However, videoclip from Michelin is showing the other facts.

Of course the best way is to change 4 tyres at once, but a tyre cost RM150-200; it wont be easy for working class to poke out big lump sum money to replace 4 tyres at once.

So, next time, pls insist to replace the new tyres at rear first..